5 Ways to Make Family Meals Enjoyable
Mealtime for families can be so rewarding and connecting, or a time for major conflict and upset. I work with parents all the time to determine what the challenge is and help find solutions. Here are a few preventative ways that you can increase the probability of kids showing up for dinner and making it an enjoyable experience.
Plan Ahead
Have a scheduled or regular time for meals. If you can't eat together every night due to schedules, at least plan to do it a few nights and at least 1 weekend night. Agree on the time and have a signal for when it will be ready, such as a 5-minute warning. Don't insist on immediate compliance, by demanding they come now, rather let them know you will start eating in 5-minutes, then do that.
Involve Everyone
From the time kids are around 4-years-old they can contribute to the meal in some way. As kids get older, with training and the opportunity, they can continue to be involved.
Meal planning, making lists, shopping, food preparation, cooking, setting up, serving, and cleaning up all have components that can be adjusted appropriately for all ages. The more you include them and allow your children to have input, the more cooperative, and engaged they will be.
Have Engaging Conversation
If you are having trouble getting kids (especially teens) to the table, pretend you were a fly on the wall at your last meal with the whole family there.
What was the conversation like?
What did you do in school today?
How did you do on your Science quiz?
When is your next paper due?
What did the coach say about playing in the game on Friday?
Who did you eat lunch with?
Aren't you going to eat your salad?
Those questions might feel like an interrogation or that you are monitoring their every waking moment. It will be more engaging to be interested in who they are and what they are thinking, not just monitoring the things they are doing.
Anything exciting happen in school today?
What did you learn in this chapter in Science?
How did you come up with the topic for your English paper?
How's the team preparing for Friday's game?
How is it going with your friends at school?
As far as eating salad, say nothing.
Avoid monitoring what they're eating, bribing them to finish, and correcting their manners.
If you have trouble engaging your kids, check your questions. You can also try sharing something about yourself first. "I have to speak at our quarterly meeting next week, and as may times as I've done it, I still get nervous." Table Topics can also provide a fun game that poses questions to get the conversation started.
Provide Training
Be sure you are positively communicating expectations for mealtimes. How long will young children be expected to sit at table? Will you allow phones at the table? Is everyone expected to clear their own place? What are good manners? Manners require special training at a separate time that is communicated in an encouraging way, not just a series of nagging night after night when kids don't do what you want them to do.
Serve Nutritious Tasty Meals
Include at least one item that each person likes each night. If you struggle with variety and individual preferences, it's important to go back to involving the whole family in planning and preparing, rather than guessing at what they'll eat and being resentful when they don't.
Mealtimes are very important to stay connected with everyone in the family and feel a sense of belonging.
If you want help sorting out dinnertime issues with your family, book a 30-minute Parent Breakthrough Session with me HERE.
